The best British murder mystery TV shows on PBS

My grandmother watched soaps, I watch PBS murder mysteries.

David Suchet is immaculate as Poirot.

My drug of choice is British murder mysteries.

Sometimes I watch the same ones over and over and over again (on different days of course) for the purpose of sedating myself. And honestly, I often forget whodunnit before I watch again. I’ve checked my pulse and blood pressure while indulging, and it’s significantly lower than normal.

I watch them on PBS, even though I also have BritBox, because I love someone else making a decision for me. They’re dark, usually funny, they have outrageous characters with British accents that require subtitles. They feature lush gardens and sometimes they’re also period pieces — there’s literally nothing I want more out of television.

As the person in the WH decides to cut funding for public television, which gives me LIFE and educates and informs many other Americans, I’m putting out a semi-comprehensive list of British or British-y murder mysteries to preserve my experience.

Poirot: My late Aunt Nancy used to regularly call at 11 p.m., and we’d chat for an hour about my future and her obsession with Agatha Christie’s Poirot — the David Suchet Poirot of the ‘90s and aughts. She loved Poirot’s insistence that he’s Belgian, not French. Suchet is really the best and only Poirot that meets my standards. Though I love Kenneth Branagh and will enjoy him in any role.

Miss Marple: Obviously Christie series’ are the gateway drug. The Miss Marple shows are a delight (though I prefer one Marple, above, over the others). She’s an old bag but, man is she mentally running circles around the killers and cops. Her cleverness is as aspirational as her backstory is depressing.

Rosemary and Thyme: And in that same vein of older women who are still very mentally spry, there’s Rosemary and Thyme. Both post-menopausal girlies with big personalities, one is recently divorced and the other forever single. They exist in the British countryside where they work as like landscape architect/plant saviors or something. The only thing I hate about this show is that there’s not enough of it!

Side note: Bucolic Britain is a star of many of these shows. I’ve learned that since nearly all the money made in the country is made in London, the government plays up the appeal and fairytale of the British countryside to drive tourism and thus money from within the country to areas where there is less. I feel played by this, but also appreciate the fantasy.

Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries: Another older woman who is solving crimes is the gorgeous Essie Davis as Phryne Fisher in Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. While this is Australian, I’m leaving it in. You can cut the sexual tension between Phryne and Detective Inspector John Robinson with a bloody knife. And the show features the truly hilarious Miriam Margolyes (I’m forever working on a post of her show with Alan Cumming, Miriam And Alan: Lost In Scotland, a comedic masterpiece.) They also have a few seasons of Ms. Fisher's Modern Murder Mysteries, which features another stunning actress, Geraldine Hakewill, in the role of Phryne’s niece.

Midsomer Murders: Obviously there’s no way to overlook Midsomer Murders, an absolute foundational effort in this genre. Since 1997, Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby — whether Tom or John — delivers on the tongue in cheek humor. I have to say, there’s definitely some latent anti-immigrant energy in the old ones, but I sometimes wonder if/hope it’s ironic? It’s not. Anyway, I now have an all-Midsomer Murders channel and I could commit to it for the rest of my life, maybe.

Death in Paradise: For a show that does poke fun at British colonialism, there’s Death in Paradise. When I was about six, I lived in St. Vincent in the Grenadines and it was heavenly because having the crystal clear Caribbean Ocean a block away from home is unmatched. Death in Paradise offers a different fantasy than bucolic Britain, it’s the guilt-free, post-imperial exotic island fantasy. You still have a Brit in there, but it’s always a too-quirky detective who outwits the murderers with his gorgeous local sidekick. I haven’t watched the spin-offs yet.

Father Brown: Now, the best of the best might be Father Brown. Mark Williams, of Harry Potter fame, is a subtle comedic genius. I want to live with Father Brown in his world and make him scones. Even my son enjoys this show because it is adorable. I thought I watched every season, then realized there’s a ton more with new sidekicks. I miss Bunty, Lady Felicia, and Mrs. McCarthy, but I’m just glad Father Brown remains.

Grantchester: Now Grantchester is the more moody, sensual, and Anglican version of Father Brown with really hot vicars. I mean where do they get these guys? James Norton has gone on to do a ton of other stuff, including Happy Valley, which I just couldn't get into. But he should literally be in everything on television all of the time.

Vera: I also enjoy the shows with less humor and more murder. For instance, Vera is the best show on television ever. Brenda Blethyn is a frumpy genius with daddy issues. Vera episodes are like hours long — it’s absurd — but once you’re watching, that’s it, that’s your night. The stories are complicated and so damn good — and emotional. Five stars.

Broadchurch: If you haven’t watched Broadchurch, please stop what you’re doing and go right now. But don’t let your kids watch Detective Inspector Alec Hardy (David Tennant) and Detective Sergeant Ellie Miller (Olivia Colman) solve the darkest of mysteries. This is an addictive, modern show that will have you by the throat minutes into the first episode.

Shetland: I love Shetland, and I haven't seen every single episode, so it’s always a pleasure to turn on PBS and find they’re airing one I haven’t seen. It takes place in the Shetland Islands which are like in the middle of nowhere in the North Sea between Scotland and Norway. Detective Inspector Jimmy Pérez (Douglas Henshall) has no sense of humor, but damn is this a show with a lot of atmosphere and truly sketchy characters.

Wallander: This is the second time I get to mention Kenneth Branagh in this list. He’s stellar as as a Swedish detective who’s losing his memory to dementia. He still manages to solve some real head-scratchers. This is a show I’ve called my brother on the phone to discuss in depth because it’s so engrossing. I don’t think I’ve seen most of it since Wikipedia says it was on for many years? Now, I’ve gotta investigate.

Lewis and Endeavor: So, Lewis is the main show, it’s got Midsomer Murders long-standing energy but with a lot less humor. It takes place in Oxford, which is real scene-stealer! Endeavor is the prequel and so damn serious. But worth watching if it’s on.

I wish I could do more research on these and keep adding to the list! I just saw an older version of Father Brown and a different Wallander. But that’s all I have time for today and this is the only way I can support PBS.

(I obviously also suggest watching Only Murders in the Building which is a dream show for an American British mystery show obsessive like me.)