"The Golden Bachelor" winner offers a masterclass in dating at any age
Whatever your age, take notes!
There are spoilers below, so pls read if you’ll never watch, you watched and have thoughts, or you need dating advice.
My beloved former roommate who introduced me to the greatness of Real Housewife Nene Leakes also suggested I watch ABC’s The Golden Bachelor. So, naturally, I did.
The newest Bachelor, Gerry Turner, is 71-year-old hunk. He’s a grandpa, a widower, a humble mansplainer of obvious emotions, and he has unbelievably fantastic skin. They spin it like he was a guy who hadn’t gotten laid in a long while, but an “expose” on his dating history notes otherwise.
I found The Golden Bachelor revelatory in terms of how older people experience friendships, romantic hope, and how they make decisions about love and commitment. I am interested in this because I hope to also be older one day, though not a contestant on The Golden Bachelor season 25.
With the possibility of procreating off the table, logistics and practicality seemed to play a big role in who Gerry chose. Well, that and skin elasticity!
The winning contestant, Theresa, not only has incredible skin, but she gives a masterclass on how to get a man at any age. For anyone in pursuit of a loving, committed relationship, watch this woman work her magic.
I hadn’t seen a single season of this show since the first Bachelorette in 2003, but we all know the framework. Gerry is introduced to a shitload of gals (22) around his age (60-75). Then he narrows down the pool after weird group dates and awkward one-on-ones by denying them roses. He eventually gives the last rose (a “golden rose”) to the person he hopes to marry even though he only just met them.
These seniors, unlike younger people fueled by their loins alone, know that having a similar lifestyle plays a key role in finding a match.
Gerry clearly has a chub for Faith since day one, but when Faith takes Gerry to her horse farm in the middle of nowhere, Ryan turned to me and said, “I don’t think Gerry will be down with the horses.” And he was right. Gerry’s gotta be thinking: What if I break a hip out here in Nowheresville, WA?
He still tells her he loves her, despite the equine barrier, which has to be due to some kind of producer manipulation, right? Or some geriatric brain glitch? Or was it some b.s. dude shit?
I really thought Ellen might win. She’s a sincere, funny, attractive pickleball player who seemed to hit it off with Gerry. But Theresa was always up there in the top three. At first, you’re like, is Theresa simple-minded? Especially when she couldn’t keep her mouth shut around catty Kathy about her connection with the Golden Bachelor. But in the fantasy suite episode, you learn that Theresa is a goddamn dating mastermind.
Both Theresa and the other finalist, Leslie, notice something is off about Gerry’s ‘tude at different points of their final dates. But while Leslie lets it cause her to start a tiff with Gerry, Theresa handles it like a champ, with grace and space.
Leslie, Prince’s “Sexy Dancer” inspiration, is truly a beautiful woman with a nice light inside of her. A two-time divorcee, she’s also a potential subject for The Body Keeps the Score. While the other seasoned cast members struggle with but control their shitty feelings about the shitty Bachelor format, she really can’t manage hers. She’s just kind of on the verge of losing it the whole time. She is admittedly broken, which is not hot for a man at the end of his life. I can really relate to her though, so no shade.
And then you get Theresa. It seemed like half of the date in Costa Rica Gerry is in a goddamn mood! But Theresa is playing the long game. Instead of taking his vibes personally, she steps out of her comfort zone to make a safe space for him to work out his own feelings. This is long-term relationship 101, but not something you want to do with someone you’re just starting to date. But this a competition, and Theresa “the master” knows that.
She’s woman with stable roots. And that grounds old Gerry who, like most men, needs someone to guide his path in life. She’s a widow and he’s a widower and both of them know what it means to commit — which involves putting another person first way more than you’d maybe like. Gerry said on the wrap-up episode that in the fantasy suite, “I knew she was a woman who knew how to maintain a relationship.”
Something that I loved about The Golden Bachelor was that the seasoned cast members are overwhelmingly kind to each other and become actual friends. Theresa details this in an interview with The New York Times. They’re not out to compete in the way younger women do. Even the final two contestants never shit-talk each other. They see each other.
The cast returns again and again to the idea of aging and invisibility. Women definitely experience that in middle age. But men also feel invisible as they age. In that NYT article, Gerry said, “We really wanted to show everyone that at our age, we are not invisible. That at any age, you can fall in love and find the right person. The show portrayed a lot of humor, too. And overall, that there’s hope and there’s heart with people of our age.”
Watching them in the proposal scene, you see the humanity and hope. You see that even though Gerry isn’t probably good enough for Theresa, their union is about more than two hot young people becoming reality TV famous, it’s about being seen again after the world has turned its gaze away and living while you still can.
